Human behaviour is intricate and complex, but imagine if you knew how to identify what's *really* going on within you to get out of what you don't want?

 

To understand and resolve what we don’t like, we have to recognize a fundamental truth: beneath every behaviour lies a feeling, and beneath every feeling exists a need. It is through this insight that we can navigate the complex landscape of human experiences and emotions, moving beyond symptoms to address the core causes of our actions and reactions.

 

Beneath Every Behaviour Lies a Feeling

Behaviours, whether deemed as positive or negative, are the visible expressions of our inner emotional states. Whether it's the smile of joy, the tears of sadness, or the frustration of anger, each behaviour is a manifestation of an underlying feeling. These feelings are like messengers, delivering important information about our inner world. When we encounter a behaviour, we are witnessing the visible tip of the emotional iceberg.

Understanding this principle allows us to pause and ask ourselves: "What feeling is driving this behaviour?" By acknowledging the emotional root, we take a significant step towards addressing the deeper causes of our actions.

 

Beneath Every Feeling Is a Need

Emotions, though powerful, are not random. They are responses to our needs. Each emotion is intricately connected to a specific need that, when fulfilled, helps maintain our sense of well-being. For example, the feeling of sadness might indicate a need for comfort or support, while anger can signal a need for boundaries or respect.

To uncover the underlying need, we need to explore the emotions we experience. Instead of trying to suppress or avoid these feelings, we can approach them with curiosity and self-compassion. Through introspection, we can identify the need that's tugging at our heartstrings.

 

Meeting the Need: Dealing with the Cause, Not the Symptom

Once we've recognized the need behind our feelings and behaviours, the transformative work begins. Instead of solely addressing the symptoms or attempting to modify behaviours, we shift our focus towards meeting those unmet needs.

 

In essence, by addressing the unmet need, we are tackling the root cause of our emotional struggles. We're nurturing ourselves and creating an environment where we can grow and heal. This approach is proven to be more effective than simply managing the visible behaviours or symptoms.

 

This paradigm shift can help us develop a deeper understanding of ourselves and others.

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In summary, remember this quote by Ashleigh Warner: "Beneath every behavior there is a feeling. And beneath each feeling is a need. And when we meet that need, rather than focus on the behavior, we begin to deal with the cause, not the symptom."

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It is here you can truly heal and grow.

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